Back home

The flowers above were in the chapel at the hospital.

I would walk down to the chapel every day at least once.  It was a departure from the rest of the hospital, with dark wood-paneled walls.  It was very quiet, and very cool in temperature.  My room so often was filled with beeping sounds from my equipment and that of others on the hall and my room always seemed too warm.  The chapel was a breath of cool, fresh air.

There was equal billing for the Star of David and a menorah with a cross and Jesus in the early 1960s stained-glass window.

I found random notes tucked in the bible.  "Dear God, Please heal my arm and send me $125,000," read one of them.

Leaving the chapel was a challenge if I was by myself.  The door was wood with stained glass insets. It had been made to look like an old Gothic castle door and was incredibly heavy.  There was no way most patients could have opened it.  I never saw another patient in the room the whole time I was there.  I would pull the door, stick a foot through, and then use my hands, one hip and my body weight to get the rest of the door behind me.  I always made it out.

And I have made it back home again!  I was greeted by a couple of beautiful bouquets I'm going to take photos of today.   I've been able to sleep a little more at night for once.  My focus is on healing.

Yes, hopefully they got all of my cancer during the last surgery, but I won't know their assessment until tomorrow.  I have my hands full to heal from the treatments.  I'm able to talk a bit, but will need speech therapy to make myself understood.  I'm learning to substitute words mid-sentence, replacing a word I can't say with an alternative word made up of sounds I can say.  At least I can talk a little.  For a while there, I hadn't been able to make even a sound.

My face is still swollen and my legs are sore by the incisions.  I have to say though, what needs a boost most is my mind.  I read through past posts I had written and poems included in this blog and managed to cheer myself up a bit yesterday.  Remembering my own advice was helpful.  Re-reading how much I went through recovering from surgery before made me realize I can do it again.

I've also set up an appointment with a counselor.  Talking/writing with someone outside my family will give me new insights as well.

So - more photos to take today, an appointment with a counselor and RV sites to check out.  Travel plans are still in the works.

 

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  

It is already tomorrow in Australia.     Charles Schultz

 

Comments

[Jenny Scott]

Dear Lisa,
So happy to see a new post! You have no idea how often I check your blog.
I, too, reread all of your blog entries the other night and was overwhelmed just reading about everything you've been through. Through it all you have been so positive and inspiring. I know you have down times, and I don't wonder that your mind needs a boost from time to time. We all comment on how positive you are, but I do hope you're not hesitant to talk about those down times, too.
I can't believe you're talking at all. Ann said she spoke to you on the phone and could understand you perfectly! That is so great.
Prayers, prayers, prayers and hugs.
Love,
Jenny
P.S. Love the Charles Schultz quote!

[ellen]

Hey Seester,

I'm so glad you're home and focusing on healing. I liked the note about the patient wanting their arm healed plus $125 grand. I hope the universe sends you a healed body and twice that amount, with interest!

I fell off Willow again on Monday, landing on my tail bone, ouch. I hadn't fallen off in two years, and now over the past few months I've fallen three times. Now I know why Elizabeth Taylor got addicted to pain killers, for the love of riding horses, and sometimes falling off badly!

Thinking of you and sending you glowing, healing energy,

love, hugs,

Ellen

[Terri Goodman, (PhD, RN, CNOR)]

Dear Lisa,

Your aunt, Joan Janak shared your blog with me, and I'm enchanted by your pictures, your insights, and your commitment to yourself. I spent lots of years managing the reconstructive surgery department of a major Houston hospital and have seen the miracles of restoring what has been stolen by fate or chance or whatever. The key ingredient is the will to achieve success through the grueling process, and you certainly have that will!

I will keep reading your charming narratives, enjoying your pictures, and crying with you... knowing that each step will take you closer to regaining what you've lost.

[Marybess Goeppinger]

I knew a woman who didn't know what to do about winter, so she walked in it. I love you . Marybess Goeppinger