Matthew took this snapshot of me the other night on a Skype call. With my hands over my cheeks to slim them a bit, I look just like my old self.
I love how Skype lets me talk with Matthew and Natalie. They can understand most of what I say, but if there are a few words that are hard for me to pronounce, I can type them at the bottom of the screen.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't take time to make recordings of my voice for my kids. I hope they will remember what I used to sound like. We've never been the kind of family that has spent much time recording our life - or even taking photographs.
I did have a couple of speeches recorded on VHS from Toastmasters meetings in 2001. Yesterday, I took these VHS tapes to 'Disc Hounds', a tape to DVD conversion place near here. I was doing fine until the guy there asked me what I wanted the discs to be called. Instantly, I teared up and had to reach for Kleenex. Wanting them somehow to be a legacy for M. and N. to remember me by seemed so sad. I didn't really want them to be called, "When your mother could talk." I decided to just say "Lisa at Toastmasters."
The vocal quality of the speeches is great. If only the content wasn't so random. One of the speeches is about feng shui, a hobby of mine ten years ago. It seems as dated now as macramé in 1980 or disco in 1990. The other speech won a club contest for humorous speeches. It's funny all right, but it's about a time guys peed on my car when I was sixteen.* So feng shui and pee on my car is my legacy for my kids?!
At least with Skype, M. and N. will understand what I want to tell them in the future. Even without wonderful vocal quality, I can let them know how much I love them.
At the hospital the night before my second tongue surgery.
* So what happened to my car?
I was coming out of the mall one night with a friend of mine when I was sixteen. We noticed four guys getting out of a car at the end of the parking lot. We had never met them before. When you are sixteen, watching guys is almost a full-time job, and we were good at it. We stopped and watched them.
The guys walked right by my car. They paused there for a minute before heading toward the movie theater. We watched them go into the theater and then headed to my car. That's when we saw that while they had been standing there, they had been peeing on my car. There was pee dripping all over one side.
Quickly, we made up a plan. We had seen the car they had gotten out of. We decided to go back into the drug store by the parking lot. We bought the cheapest, reddest lipstick we could find. Then we went back out to their car and wrote, "YOU PISSERS!" all over it. We wrote on the windshield, the top, and the sides. Then we took the rest of the lipstick and smushed it in the door handles.
We laughed the whole time, wondering what they would think when they came out of the movies.
This remains the best - and most just - story of revenge in my life.
The speech asked the question of whether it is nobler to forgive and turn the other cheek or whether sometimes it is better to create instant Karma Car-ma and just go for revenge.
My legacy? I guess, kids, sometimes revenge is okay. I even - and this surprised me after my recent Clint Eastwood post - ended my speech with a Clint Eastwood quote. "Go ahead, make my day."
Well, such is my legacy! That - and flowers.
Thanks so much Holly B.! The flowers were amazing and the container was, too!
Geez, Lisa--how to make a person cry and laugh at the same time. YOU are a pisser--in the best sense of the word!
Posted by: Connie | 01/26/2011 at 07:33 AM
Who needs a voice when you have such a fabulous sense of humor and gift of writing, eyes that sparkle and a smile that says it all! P.S.I pullmy cheeks back every morning to remember what I looked like when I WAS 16!
Posted by: dana darnell | 01/26/2011 at 04:23 PM
You have always been a great storyteller, Lisa. I don't think I ever heard about the pissers before, but good for you for not letting that outrageous act go unanswered!! I remember when you were a guest speaker at the Geneva mall Barnes & Noble on the popular subject of feng shui back in the day. Speaking of karma, the good kind, believe it or not I went today with a friend to the Algonquin Public Library to view your ceiling mural. (This was my first time to see it.) I love how the lighting changes to evoke different times of the day, e.g. pinkish for sunset. The mural has such a soft, soothing quality to it. My friend asked whether you signed it. I said I would have to ask since I couldn't tell. What a special charm it provides to that charming place. Love, Sandy
Posted by: Sandy Jelm | 01/26/2011 at 04:32 PM
Red lipstick, eh? You are such a rebel....and I LOVE it!
You DO look like yourself, Lisa. I think that short story needs to set up a Skype Love call soon. We all want to talk with you, and it would be the perfect way to talk all at once (like we always do!!).
Laughing and crying all in the same post is what I'm doing too. Thank you for your continued honesty. I check at least twice a day for an update and it makes me so happy when I see a new one.
Love to your whole family.
Posted by: Annie B. | 01/26/2011 at 08:08 PM
So very sweet, moving, funny, and wonderful! Thank
you, Lisa!!! Love, Jan
Posted by: Jan Hofmeister | 01/27/2011 at 12:10 PM
I loved the story too. Sometimes getting even is OK - I used to chase kids several blocks if they smashed my children's pumpkins. I knew if I ever caught them I knock the ____ out of them! Ha! Ha! Good thing I don't run very fast. Your picture on skype was great. You look like Lisa to me -- Take care -- Love -- Kathy
Posted by: Kathy Tlougan | 01/27/2011 at 07:37 PM
That story defines the Lisa I remember. Let's take a walk in the snow.. It could never beat you. You learned to live with it. Love you Marybess
Posted by: Marybess Goeppinger | 01/31/2011 at 03:28 AM
Hey Seestah,
Looooved the lipstick tale, that's a great story! Bummer my ancient, university-issue budget computer doesn't have a camera so we could skype with visuals, but I can still skype using typing.
Had a great ride with Sta-Low yesterday, she was all frisky from the snow. My riding pal, Julia, came back too, so it was nice to be back to the old routine.
love, hugs,
Ellen
Posted by: ellen | 02/01/2011 at 11:34 AM
All I can say is "Awww"... I use Skype everyday.
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