Trip to Cape-come-what-May

On the beach in Cape May for our 25th anniversary:

I wish I could say that my life of increased ambiguity (since my Clint Eastwood post) has been one that I've been able to wholeheartedly embrace and accept.

Some things are difficult for me to come to terms with. It's hard to make myself understood when I speak. I lack the ability to make certain sounds. Just having a conversation can be like trying to bench press over 400 pounds - it can feel impossible. Gradually, however, I'm learning to play synonym tag in my head while I'm speaking. When I know I'm about to need to say a word I can't pronounce, I reach for alternative options I can say. I ask my brother, "How's your daughter?" instead of "How's Gigi?" 'Gee' sounds are a no-go.

Not being able to eat regular food is also tough. I may be able to swallow at some point, but my neck has not yet healed enough to practice. When I swallowed water in the doctor's office, water came out of the stitches under under my chin and ran down the front of my neck onto my shirt. So surprising and freaky-ick! Until I heal, I could be an entertainer at a Ripley's Believe It or Not location.

While on the subject of odd factoids, the noise my trach makes when I walk out in the cold embarrasses me. It sounds like a Canada goose honking noise when I breathe.

And yet, there Marc and I were after 25 years, still trying to have a good time for our anniversary. There is so much going on we are both seeing counselors. We have things to work through, to be sure, but we are still committed to each other and to finding new ways to move forward. We wrote statements for each other about how we commit to cherishing the other person and to finding new ways of appreciating each other in the months ahead.

This was my cute date in front of the Queen Victoria Inn where we stayed. We had the two-story carriage house on the side by our Prius.

The house worked out perfectly. The lower level of our suite was like a cozy library/living room with a fireplace and flatscreen and comfy sofa and chairs. We had a kitchenette and plenty of room.

Because going out to a restaurant wasn't going to work with me on a feeding tube, we had dinner in the room by the fire. I used my formula cans and we heated up a dinner brought from home for Marc. The decor was beautiful and we had a good time. Different than a restaurant, but I can't say I enjoyed myself any less.

Upstairs was a beautful bedroom with an angled ceiling, a spa tub and a chaise. Happy anniversary to me!

Walking around the neighborhood by our B and B was beautiful. All kinds of old houses and inns.

All these were within a block of the beach and our place.

What my cute date, or as my friend Beth calls him, "The Huz", wrote for me on the beach:

"The Huz" sounds more studly to me than 'hubby' or 'spouse'. Marc is doing his best to be supportive of me. I'm doing my best not to lose my sense of humor and to continue to recover from surgery. I should add that Marc can understand me pretty well when I talk, which is a help.

We are going to take a trip to D.C. next weekend, another short trip as I continue to heal. Another practice run before we do a longer RV event. We are working together to build new adventures and ways of spending time together. I would go back to Cape May in a heartbeat. It's amazing how you can have a good time when you get creative in the face of limitations. Come what may.

Here is a quote my neighbor Vicki sent:

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert Camus

Thanks for the amazing tulips, Bob and Wendy!

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That first photo of you and The Huz on the beach made me cry! Am so glad you had a good time at Cape Come What May--sounds like Marc found a perfect spot for your anniversary getaway.

Posted by: Connie | 01/21/2011 at 02:02 PM